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Copyright 2017 Shadi Mapheto Transformational Coaching

My happiness, my responsibility.......

September 18, 2017

My happiness is my responsibility……

 

There was a time in my life when all I wanted was to be happy.  I was taught at an early age that this meant holding on to the cookie, getting an education and then the cushy job.  The ultimate reward for being ‘a good girl’ was getting hitched, then the picket fence and living happily ever after.    

 

So I tried sticking to the rules.  Fervently.  But that formula didn’t work for me.

 

I got the man, the wedding, the ring, the big house and I was still not singing Halleluyah.  I was the envy of my friends and relatives.  I could finally be part of the social media bragging brigade.  However, since I was miserable and unhappy before Mr Supposedly Right showed up, a few seconds after saying “I do” I was back to that state.  Of course, I was blaming the poor guy for failing to make me giddy with joy.

 

You see, ever since I discovered the male species, I’ve been chasing the dream of being happily coupled.   Suitors were never in short supply.  If I wasn’t happy, I thought he wasn’t ‘the one’.  So I’d ditch him and get another one.  Suffice to say that this cycle went on for so long that all my attempts could make great material for a best seller and a soapie series.

 

I had bought into the notion that I had to get ANY man to have a spring in my step.

 

That’s too much power and responsibility to give away.

 

So what were the big nuggets I was missing?  Drum roll……

  • My happiness is my responsibility.

  • I can love and accept myself completely before expecting another to do the same.

  • I set the standard for how I am treated and loved.

  • Self love includes having boundaries and enforcing them.

  • Being happy alone allows for someone to come into my life and compliment that happiness

I know some of you were lucky enough to get this memo at 3.  For some of us, it had to be through blood, sweat and tears.  I finally got it.  Talk about owning my power! 

 

Stick around as we delve deeper into these nuggets.  In the meantime, practise making yourself happy a daily habit. 

 

   

 

 

 

 

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